this ANA that

Offense

2011-04-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

After taking a psychology class at UCSD as an undergrad, I learned about a condition called "H.A.B." or "Hostile Attribution Bias" where a person interprets the intentions and feelings of others as negative towards them. In other words, it's an extreme condition where you think everyone is against you. Jason and I have always joked that I have a small form of HAB. Whenever I ask Jason, "Why would you do/say that to me?" Jason would joke and say that I'm having a case of HAB. I think sometimes struggling with insecurities or with other people may seem like a normal and ok thing. However, reading, "The Bait of Satan" gave me insight and practical ways to improve this mentality.

One of the first things I learned in the beginning chapters was that a reason we get offended is because we place our own expectations on people that are not necessarily set by God. As John Bevere says, "We set ourselves up for offense when we require certain behaviors from those with whom we have relationships." It is kind of like the song, "We always hurt the ones we love." The closer we are to someone, the higher the expectation, and the higher the potential disappointment. John then discusses how we put up our own walls to defend and protect ourselves which causes us to have a skewed perspective of what God can do through us and for our relationship with others,

"When we filter everything through past hurts, rejections, and experiences, we find it impossible to believe in God. We cannot believe He means what He says. We doubt His goodness and faithfulness since we judge Him by the standards set by man in our lives. But got is not a man! He cannot lie. His ways are not like ours, and his thought are not ours."

When we are only looking out for ourselves, we are not following Jesus' principles of humility. We are called to love others and love those who do wrong to us. Sometimes we avoid the hard part of loving others by running away from the situation,

"I'm describing those who have imprisoned themselves. They think that all who do not agree with them are wrong and are against them. They protect themselves in their isolation and feel safe in the controlled environment they have set up for themselves. They no longer have to confront their own character flaws. Rather than facing difficulties, they try to escape the test. The character development that comes only as they work through conflicts with others is lost as the cycle of offense begins."

Expectations and running away are certainly applicable to me. Throughout my life I've jumped from friendship to friendship, relationship to relationship. For about the past 3 years however, I have stopped jumping. Right now, I would say Jason is the closest person to me. He knows me the most, and we have inevitably had disagreements and arguments. I often found that something was wrong with our communication. Whenever Jason disagreed with me, I would be set in my heart that I was right and I would find myself staying quiet and "giving up" communicating thinking there was no way he was going to change my mind. When Jason would express his opinion, I would see it as an attack on my character and I could feel myself getting offended. I found it easiest to not talk or not communicate.

Secondly, with my family, conflict resolution has never really existed in my household. Growing up, no one really ever said sorry to one another - there was no real reconciliation. Through reading this book, I discovered that I may have also "given up" on the communication within my family. I remember getting in an argument with my Mom, and Jason suggested that I sit down and tell her how I feel. I found myself saying things that reflect bitterness like, "I know my family, they don't care if I tell them. I've told them before and they brush it off like it's not there fault. This is how it's always been, and I just need to accept that." Like the author described, I was doubting what God could do through me and in my family. And as the book instructs, Jason encouraged me that I can't just give up even if things don't change. I'm responsible for responding the way God wants me to.

I will always have things I can work on and this book referenced God's principles to teach us to forgive and avoid offense. Here are things that I learned:

1. Let go of your pride and realize your own flaws and offenses.
2. Value others higher than yourself.

"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy." James 3:17

3. Don't react, but respond through God's love.
4. Practice forgiveness.
5. Trust in God's plan and word.
6. Reconcile.

"Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny." Matthew 5:25-26

Our relationship with God will reflect the dynamic of our relationship with others. I believe that as I hopefully continue to truly try to surrender my whole heart to God, it will be reflected in how to deal with trials and tribulations in our future, and I'll be able to love even when it's difficult to - just as Jesus forgave and loved us even when he didn't have to.

"He 'demonstrates His own love toward [and for] us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

23

2011-04-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Birthday highlights.

Friday - Jason & I ate at Siam Nara. We ran into Joff who ended up paying for our meal! So nice!

Saturday - Competed with SGBM at Fusion and freakin won 3rd place! Afterward, had birthday dinner with friends at Old Town Mexican Cafe.

Sunday - 12pm at The Rock, ate lunch with Ate Marriane & Kenny, then surprise Hornblower dinner cruise with Jason.

Monday - Decorated desk at work, surprise visit from Nathalie and Tony at lunch, and pizookie/beer time with Jason.

Overall, a very wonderful birthday!

Pick A Purse

2011-04-06T18:23:00.001-07:00

I've tried to win a ticket to Star 94.1's Pick A Purse Party since last year. It always falls around my birthday. If you win a ticket to the purse party, you get to choose a designer purse to keep and there is an extra prize inside like plane tickets, gift certificates, or even laptops. I always enter online and through text messages. I also call the radio station as often as I can to be caller 94. Here are the stages of what happens when you call in for the purse party as I have experienced from worst to best:

Stage 6: "Satellite Fail" - muffled static, three robot beeps, then the message somewhat robot sounding lady that says, "We're sorry all circuits are busy."
Stage 5: "Musical"- dun-nun-nun-nun, then the lady that says, "Your call cannot be completed at this time. Please hang up and try again later."
Stage 4: "Slow busy tone" - beep...beep...
Stage 3: "Fast busy tone" - beep beep beep beep
Stage 2: "Fake ring" - talk about false hope...one hopeful ring followed by... beep beep beep
Stage 1: "You're IN!" - ring and wait for Tanya/Haze/AJ to tell you your fate!

If I could go, I want this lovely Marc Jacobs bag...

I know I'm getting older when...

2011-04-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

I know I'm getting older when...

I "sleep in" and wake up at 8:30am
I know the difference between a PPO and HMO
I want to shop at GAP and Banana Republic more than Urban or Forever21
I fall asleep when American Idol is on
going out on a weeknight makes me go "meh..."
I don't have a summer vacation
I paint my nails neutral colors rather than zebra printed

I'm not complaining though, I LOVE having a job that I go to every morning. I love having a career and income, and feeling like I have the ability to sustain myself.

2011-04-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

Made my first DSW purchase today. <3

The Fighter

2011-03-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

Saw this movie this weekend. Christian Bale owns.

Dickie Eklund: [in reference to Charlene saying that Sugar Ray Leonard slipped] Do you think I knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard?
Mickey Ward: Yeah, sure I do. You were the pride of Lowell. You were my hero, Dicky.
Dickie Eklund: I was. I was.

Japan

2011-03-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

What has happened in Japan has been devastating, I thank you God that you are sovereign and no matter what, your plan is unfolding, and you truly love your people. I thank you God that you have kept my Dad safe and that we have been able to hear back from him. I thank you for all the people that put themselves in danger to help others. I thank you for all the lives that have been saved. God, I pray that your comfort would come to the family members who are waiting to hear from loved ones. I pray for those who have family and friends in Japan. I pray for their safety, that you would watch over them, that you would give those who are waiting to hear good news your peace in their hearts. The earthquakes and tsunamis are a matter of life and death. I know you desire for us to come back to you. I pray, that this situation would help people evaluate where they are with you, truly evaluate what their relationship is like with you, and that we would repent and be in solid reunion with you. Please God, please bless Japan right now. Please watch over those who are grieving or in fear. You are our hope, you are good, faithful, strong and loving and I trust you.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,

and ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall;

God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;

he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the LORD has done,

the desolations he has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease

to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the shields with fire.

He says, "Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Stop Motion

2010-07-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

I've been really into stop motion videos ever since those Amazon Kindle commercials, and Oren Lavie's music video. Here's another wonderful example from Alison Sudol (my ultimate style crush). A Fine Frenzy's music videos are always soooo gorgeous.

Boxed

2010-07-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

So lately, I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to start applying for "real world" jobs really soon - and I've somewhat regrettably found that my college major has left me boxed into the field of "Human Development." Also, my work experience in Student Affairs leaves me guessing if that is going to ultimately determine where I go from here.

I want to feel the freedom of believing the world is open with possibility now. As if I'm free to pursue anything. Perhaps it's the fear of an administrative life or the idea of being bound to a desk. I just want to be able to wake up everyday and LOVE what I do. I really want to figure out what God wants me to pursue. I have a few ideas of what I might want to do, but am, I guess, waiting to hear either God's confirmation or new direction. I'm trying to start by understanding my own unique characteristics.

So these are characteristics I've noticed about myself that might puzzle together into a possible career:

1. I can be introverted, but working on it
2. I am compassionate - I sympathize with people (for instance, I am a contagious crier)
3. I've always expressed myself through the arts whether that be dance, drawing, writing, or music
4. I love creating things
5. I actually like performing (Ex. dance...and I can't believe I'm saying this but I do enjoy teaching and public speaking). This may seem contradictory to #1, but it's not hah.

It's interesting to think about where I'll end up. I might have to hide this post once I start the hunt though hah.

When you can't feel God - Back to Basics

2010-07-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I have been asking myself, "Why can't I feel God?" It's even been a hard thing to admit to myself and to the strong Christians around me. I suppose my concern was that I hadn't necessarily felt the overwhelming presence of God in a good while. I'd pray, I'd read, I'd try to worship - but somehow I didn't feel God's presence. In my selfishness I felt abandoned, even forsaken. In my search for learning how to detect God's presence - I've learned two things.

First, is on me. Am I truly obeying God's word? Am I praying? Am I repenting?

"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands you sinners, and purify your heart you double minded." James 4:8

Secondly, is that I shouldn't measure my relationship with God by what I "feel" are spiritual experiences.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12

I found a great article about this topic that enabled me to understand this idea of faith vs. feeling. Here are exerpts of the parts that spoke to me:

God can give you feelings

God could instantly give you feelings but in the long run it wouldn't help. Your faith must be in the bedrock of the Word of God, not the shifting sands of feelings. Emotions fluctuate wildly. God's word is solid. And the only way anyone can be a solid Christian is to ignore feelings and hold on to that word.

It's no use thinking, If God gave me some sort of sign or feeling it would strengthen my faith. You would be hoping to put your faith in the memory or the sign or feeling, rather than in the integrity of God. You are indicating that you regard what you see and feel are more dependable than Almighty God."

Should you believe your senses?

A scientist says earth hurls through space at great speed; to you it seems motionless.

A doctor says a mark on your body is cancer; to you it feels harmless.

An electrician says a wire is dangerously live; to you it looks dead.

A mechanic says your car needs oil immediately; you don’t think it’s necessary.

A soldier says an area is sown with land-mines; you can’t see any.

Who should you believe: your senses, or the expert?

Jesus says ‘if anyone loves me . . . my Father will love him and we will make our home with him’ (John 14:23); you feel empty.

God says how often I would have gathered your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings (Matthew 23:37); you feel God is unfeeling.

God says nothing can separate you from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39); you feel something going wrong proves God no longer loves you.

God says rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4); you feel there’s nothing to rejoice in.

God says be not surprised at the painful trial you are suffering (1 Peter 4:12), we must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom (Acts 14:22); you feel surprised.

God says, he was bruised and wounded for you (Isaiah 53:5); you wonder if he loves you.

God says your sins will be wiped out (Acts 3:9) and he will remember them no more (Isaiah 43:25; Hebrews 8:12); you feel he is holding the past against you.

For as long as you look to feelings and circumstances to verify spiritual truth, you will be a weak Christian. But you can be a powerful spiritual conqueror by stubbornly clinging to the fact that the God who cannot lie is steadfastly devoted to you. Refuse to entertain any other thought. By having that resolve you have defeated the devil. He knows it doesn’t matter what he hits you with, you will cling to God, your strength, so he has less incentive to bother.

We march forward not by signs or warm fuzzies but by faith; stubbornly holding on to scriptural truth even when everything within us screams against it. That’s the path to spiritual honor.

Article written by Grantley Morris

style

2010-05-27T03:50:00.001-07:00

MARINA MUNOZ

WILLIAMSBURG, NEW YORK

STYLIST ASSISTANT

1. FIRST OF ALL: COMFORT AND ELEGANCE ALWAYS! AND IT’S BETTER TO STICK OUT THAN BLEND IN.

2. I PREFER WELL MADE PIECES, STAPLES THAT I CAN HAVE IN MY CLOSET AND YEAR AFTER YEAR THEY AGE LIKE WINE, LIKE AN OLD HERMÈS BLOUSE OR CHLOÉ BLOUSE.

3. I THINK THAT TOO MUCH PERFECTION IS BORING. THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING OFF, SOMETHING DISTRESSED OR WORN.

4. I LOVE VINTAGE AND MENSWEAR AND LOVE INCORPORATING THOSE PIECES WITH MY EVERYDAY WARDROBE. I AM REALLY BIG ON LOAFERS NOW. I COLLECT PIECES FROM THE MEN I ADMIRE AND HAVE COUNTLESS THINGS FROM MY FATHER, BROTHER AND OF COURSE I WEAR A LOT OF MY BOYFRIEND’S CLOTHES.

5. I FIND THAT IF SOMETHING LOOKS ON GOOD ON ME, I TEND TO STICK TO IT LIKE MEN’S SHIRTS, HATS, TROUSERS AND SIMPLE SHIFT DRESSES. I LOVE DRESSING UP AND DRESSING DOWN.

6. I DON’T REALLY LIKE TO FOLLOW FASHION. I LOVE AND WORK IN FASHION BUT I’VE BECOME MORE OBSESSED WITH THE DETAILS OF PIECES AND THE MIXING OF SHAPES, TEXTURES AND FABRICS.

7. MY FAVORITE FILM IS THE LOVER, THEN FUNNY FACE WITH AUDREY HEPBURN. THOSE FILMS REALLY INFLUENCED MY STYLE.

*Courtesy JAKANDJIL

graduation dress

2010-05-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

Can't decide.

dion lee.

2010-05-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

Photos courtesy JAKANDJIL

Sydney Fashion Week. I love the geometric sort of pixelated layered tights, weaves and knots, water colors, and the hint of orange in those killer heels.

burnin up my Ipod battery.

2010-05-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

She & Him. Regina Spektor. Vintage Kelly Clarkson (The very underrated "My December" album).

Shadows.

2010-05-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

Feeeeeeelin' Tyra's shadow shoot on Top Model. Would be a very cool photography DIY.

an education

2010-05-05T02:10:00.000-07:00

"If people die the moment that they graduate, then surely it's the things we do beforehand that count."

pb - barwest.

2010-05-03T02:19:00.000-07:00

dancing in PB for the Lim's birthday outing. jason is fun! hah.

Whimsy.

2010-04-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for whimsical jewelry.

birds, birdcages, birdhouses, feathers, leaves, harmonicas, bows, whistles, flowers, owls, bunnies, keys, lockets, clocks, envelopes, robots, ladybugs.

pretty. my favorite celeb girls.

2010-04-28T23:20:00.000-07:00

favorite word right now.

2010-04-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

dilettantes plural; dilettanti plural

You can use dilettante to talk about someone who seems interested in a subject, especially in art, but who does not really know very much about it.

seeing the world - plastic vs. digital.

2010-03-28T01:40:00.000-07:00

Been thinking about getting one of these two cameras... a drastic difference between the two!

mango guac and snap pea chips.

2010-03-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

I made mango guacamole the other day. So easy and tasty, here is the recipe...

- 2 avocados

- 1/2 mango diced

- 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

- 2 tablespoons onions diced

- 4-5 tablespoons of salsa

- garlic salt to taste

- lemon/lime juice to taste

YUMMM DIDDLY YUM!

Also, these are my chip

alternative...yum.

tao.

2010-03-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

Tao Oakamoto is my all time favorite asian supermodel.

lyrics search.

2010-03-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

BOO FOR SEARCHING LYRICS FOR THE NAME OF A HIP HOP SONG...and getting tooooo many results

"I love I love"
"Baby come over here"
yayaya all the sames.

my weekend.

2010-03-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

jean paul gautier for target.

2010-03-09T03:27:00.000-08:00

awww yeah! Wanting to pick up a pair of killer shorts from the line. I love Target's designer lines at very affordable and practicle prices =]

red carpet runway.

2010-03-08T01:26:00.000-08:00

MY BEST DRESSED PICKS

6. ELIZABETH BANKS, VERSACE.

Pale blue and chiffon were a big trend on the red carpet. This dress really brings out her beautiful blue eyes. Classy, romantic, sophisticated.

5. KRISTEN STEWART, LANVIN.

I love how this midnight blue, matches with her edginess of the whole dark, vampire, "Twilight" craze. She looks sleek and fresh, and the dress is form fitting, edgy and young.

4. CAMERON DIAZ, OSCAR DE LA RENTA.

Another trend, champagne dresses. I love the way Cameron pairs this sparkling dress with red lips, red nails, and her hair down to match. Red carpet glamorous.

3. DIANE KRUGER, CHANEL

A woman who knows her stuff. I love the mixed textures of the dress and the beautiful black lace. Elegant and romantic yet the black adds a little modernity and edge.

2. SARAH JESSICA PARKER, CHANEL.

You just can't go wrong with a Chanel dress. I love the yellow and her retro hairstyle. She looks so great for 40.

1. KATE WINSLET, YVES SAINT LAURENT.

So simple but so sleek, elegant, classic. A great example of less is more. Love how its paired with yellow diamonds and those perfected curls.

epipen madness.

2010-03-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

Today was crazy eventful!

First at church, the fire alarm went off right after service. We all evacuated outside, and waited until they called us back in. Some ushers were saying service was canceled, but we stuck around and found that service was back on! People got saved at the end, so thank God, that even with a fire alarm, his purpose was still accomplished.

When we went back to UCSD, Jason and I ate sandwiches. However, Jason started cooking tilapia. I am deathly allergic to seafood, but had never had a reaction to people cooking. My parents always cook seafood, and I've been to restaurants where my family orders seafood. But I guess the smell gave me an allergic reaction. I started sneezing, then coughing, then wheezing, my voice changed immediatley and I sounded so sick. Then I was having trouble breathing and had chest pains. I was coughing and gasping, then coughing out flem. I went outside to get air, but we decided to go to the hospital.

On the way there, I was crying from the pain, and my breathing was not getting better. Being stubborn, and afraid of needles, I told Jason that I could make it to the hospital without taking my epipen (an epipen is a shot you have to take in case of allergic reaction emergencies). Jason saw that my breathing was not improving, and yelled at me to take it. I knew he was truly concerned for my health, so I took it out of the box. I saw the 2-3 inch needle, and immediatley began to cry saying I couldn't do it. How was I going to stab myself with a shot? After a little while longer of driving, I noticed my breathing wasn't improving, and I really thought there was a chance I could die, or things might be worse than I think. So I told Jason, "Just pull over so you can shoot me." We both nervously laughed then pulled over. I needed someone to help me with the proccess.

Jason exited, and we parked near some houses. I showed Jason how to inject the shot, and said he just needed to jam it into my thigh. I told him not to do it until I found something to read in the bible. I found this section called, "Armor of God" however when Jason was about to do it, I cried and cried telling him I didn't want to take the shot. I looked away. Jason shot it into my leg, through my jeans and I yelled from the shock. However, I didn't feel anything. I thought to myself, "Oh, that didn't feel like anything." I saw Jason didn't press it. He pressed the button as it was still jammed into my thigh. You could hear the needle go in. I yelled while he held it in for 15 seconds. I could feel it deep in my thigh, and felt the needle pull out. About 10 seconds later, my breathing almost immediatley imrpoved. After 2 minutes, I started feeling very shaky. I felt my hands shaking, and I could feel my legs shaking.

I went to the hospital, and much to my dismay...had to take another shot to make sure the allergic reaction didn't flare up again. It had to be on my butt =X embarassing! At least I got a female nurse. She told me, "This is going to hurt a lot. The needle is long and thick." I started tearing bracing myself for the pain. When the shot went in, I thought to myself, "Oh, that wasn't too bad." However, a minute later, I felt like someone stabbed me in my lower back, as the pain started to crawl all over my back. Everything felt better within a few hours, and now I just feel like I'm sore from a little exercise.

In all, wow. I learned I am soooo allergic to fish, I can't be around it even when it's being cooked or I can smell it. I am blessed by God for being alive, and he always has gotten me through the allergic reactions I face in life. Also, he blessed me with a boyfriend who took very good care of me, driving to the hospital, convincing me I needed to take the shot, and giving me a shot.

Woo. I am alive and well. Thank you Jesus!

minimal.

2010-03-04T13:46:00.000-08:00

James Turrell. Minimal light, space, and geometry.

not alone.

2010-03-04T01:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I envy people who are so confident in their skin, who know fully who they are and don't care what people think. People who say crazy things, thrive when connecting with people, or wear bright florescent pink flat shoes and feathers in their hair and are happy to openly express themselves. I guess today I got discouraged and tired. Where held back emotions exposed themselves. I felt lonely, insignificant and unacknowledged. I guess I yearn to freely and truly be myself. To be seen. To be heard. And not in a cocky way, but in a deep want for human connectedness. These are the lyrics to a very important and dear song to me. It's a reminder of who I have, despite feeling broken or alone.

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

This is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
This is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
That's my everything

And did You see me crying?
Oh and did You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

And this is all, this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
But this is all that I can give
This is all that I can say right now, right now
I know it's not much
But this is all that I can give
Yeah that's my everything

I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were crying too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

And this is all, tis allhis that I can say right now
I know it's not much
And this is all that I can give
This is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
Yeah, that's my everything

come on, vogue.

2010-03-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

"The September Issue" is a really great movie. It's a documentary about the inner-workings of VOGUE magazine and the two head talents behind the magazine's success: Editor-In-Chief, Anna Wintour, and Creative Director, Grace Coddington.

The documentary does a nice job of not judging the fashion industry but taking you into the world. Anna and Grace get to see all the fashion shows all over the world from the front row, they meet personally with all the major designers, participate in arranging glamourous photo shoots, and always seem to be jet setting to Europe in amazing clothes.

VOGUE gets a hold of all the designer's collections earlier than anyone. Its September Issue sets the tone for the fashion season, and they decide what's in and what's out. With so much power, this documentary takes an interesting look at who these people are. Personally, I was so giddy and excited to see the artistry that goes into design and photo shoots. A wonderful insider perspective of why people love fashion.

korean bbq.

2010-03-01T22:10:00.001-08:00

Jason and I's first cooking adventure. Really fun. Jason made spam masubi with egg for lunch, then I made the marinade for our Korean BBQ. It had soy sauce, sugar, ginger, garlic, sesame seeds, and green onions. Nom nom nom. We got the meat from Zion Market in Claremont. Jason also got some Asian strawberry soda thing that had a marble in it. COOL! Also, Jason fell in love with my family's favorite...melon bar popsicles. My parents also made grilled zucchini (slurp slurp) and cream corn (yum).

Enjoy.

racism. not in our community.

2010-02-28T22:49:00.000-08:00

UCSD Protests Against Racism

This past week has been crazy. What with the racist "Compton Cookout" held by UCSD students and a female student hanging a noose in the library, it's sent our school into a racial uproar, bringing attention to the low population of African American students on campus. I was personally so hurt that someone would put such a violent symbol on our campus, one that threatens and targets an ethnic group. To hear that the guilty student thought "hanging a noose wouldn't be an issue." It's disheartening.

Dear God,

I know you created us to love and be in relationship and fellowship with one another. I know you created this world with humans who are all different and all so beautiful, but who share the same purpose you created us for. Lord, what has been going on at UCSD has not honored what you have created us for. I ask for your forgiveness Lord, for all the times I may judge someone based on their appearance. I ask for your forgiveness for the times I and all of us have fallen and made assumptions about people. I pray we Christians would remember our brokeness, and that we are all guilty, and not better than anyone else, no matter what their sin. I pray that you would protect the students at UCSD. I pray you would comfort those who are hurting. I pray you would send out your healing hand and heal our campus and intervene. I pray Lord for the administration. While they are being pressured, I pray you would help them be strong leaders. Give them discernment on how to handle these situations according to your will. I pray Lord, for those who are behind these acts. I pray you would speak your mighty truth into their lives, and renew their perspective. I pray Lord that they would be met with your grace and truth. May you use this opportunity Lord, to do your work in our lives. Thank you God, that you show no partiality. That you created us to be one body. In your precious son's name I pray. Amen.

Galatians 3:28

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Romans 10:12

For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him.

Romans 2:11

For God shows no partiality.

James 2:9

But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.

1 John 2:9

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.

Ryan and Adam.

2010-02-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

Up in the Air is such a great film. Hope it wins best picture at the Oscars. Spoiler Alert: Adam is... a sadder more depressing version of 500 Days of Summer.

fresh.

2010-02-18T23:10:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, my new discovery for outfit inspiration, Lookbook.nu. This girl's style, Leoluca, is so sick. I lovesss all clean neutrals + one pop of color.

winter? spring? winter? spring?

2010-02-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

Lovely for that awkward in-between time of winter and spring. Plus, apparently the 80's are out and the 70's are in.

New York Model: Abbey Lee Kershaw.

Photo Courtesy Vogue.com

perfect storm, day 3.

2010-02-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day was yesterday!

Jason and I went to church, bought food at Vons and had a picnic at Spanish Landing. I gave him my Valentine gift - peanut butter and jelly key caps, a free lolly pop I got from Sweet Factory, and a Wear the Wild Things Are T-Shirt. We went back to his place to watch the Winter Olympics, and Jason gave me his gift - LABBIT, my favorite See's Candy Chocolates (a box of butterscotch squares), Hot Cheetos Fries, Warhead Candy Spray (inside jokes), and an adorable card with two pigs in France.

Later at night, we headed to the Lims for their Valentine/Chinese New Year Party. We played Taboo, a male/female Scene It sort of game, and the Amazing Race. I also won $10 gift card to Target! Overall, it was a wonderful day to spend with Jason. This is our 3rd Valentines Day together, and I am so happy to be with him.

Now it's time to work harddddd on school! Agh! It's 7th week already.

perfect storm, day 2.

2010-02-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

Jason's Birthday was yesterday! I got him a space card and a squirrel ecard. He lives engineer life, so did homework most of the day. We ate chocolate mousse cake at DO Something Bible Study, and ended with Bucs di Bepps din din.

He's 22! Freakin' oldie!

26 months.

2010-02-10T02:25:00.000-08:00

We went to Salk Institute for photoshoot fun, anniversary style...wee! We are also submitting these for the Urban Outfitters contest. Couples that win get $250 gift cards each.

perfect storm, day 1.

2010-02-09T00:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 26 MONTH ANNIVERSARY JASON!!!

He makes me feel so special! Bleh! I'm a cheese ball! Will have a photo shoot shots later today *crosses fingers.

try sleeping with a broken heart.

2010-02-08T01:17:00.001-08:00

BAH. I was blessed with an invitation to teach a hip hop routine for Inter-varsity's Dance Ministry at UCSD. I totally blanked out in what I was teaching in the beginning (what the heck that never happens!) Haha, but it turned out well and ended up being really fun. I taught to Alicia - Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart.

However, much to my dismay, I youtube search for dances to songs I want to choreograph to, and there is always something way better than I can ever come up with. Example below. This is so dope. Maybe I'll post mine...MAYBE.

do somethins.

2010-02-04T23:49:00.000-08:00

Don't doubt in the dark what God has revealed in the light.

One more bike.

2010-02-04T13:06:00.000-08:00

Had to do it! One more awesome bike pic. Jak and Jil/Tavi/Vogue Paris. Sweet.

Stingrays

2010-02-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

Midterm week stings.

Barcelona Designer, Heal.

Fashion week.

time.

2010-02-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

This is my purchase from last week's vendor week at UCSD. Sadly this buy was my first emotionally impractical buy. Found out I need to take it to a jewelry repair shop when the battery breaks (which I bet is soon). However, the next door vendor was a Christian line Love Nail Tree that sells darling vintage jewelry and Christian t-shirts which I so should have bought from instead.

On a random note. My boyfriend bought me much needed Midol today just in time before my midterm. He's such a dear.

good vibes

2010-02-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

Just got back from performing at VIBE, over at UC Irvine. We did really well, despite the quiet crowd who mostly only cheered for Irvine teams. And the announcer who called us "SCWPGM" or whatever. I think he said more letters o_O.

I realized two things there. One. I'm getting pretty old for (or over?) this hip hop scene. I used to really care about knowing a lot about choreographers, who the "it" dancers are, and teams. I don't know anything now, hah. Secondly, hip hop dancing is changing a lot, I think. At least from what I saw. A lot of trends towards house, the crowds mostly love tutting. They also still always love a good bboy stunt. Let's see... more dances about sex or alcohol. But then maybe, that hasn't really changed over the years. I however love performances that win you over with DANCING, not by doing something sexual or because your dance is about being drunk or high. Favorites were Choreo Cookie's "Smooth Operator"...so creative and funn to watch. I think that dance easily made everyone a little jealous. Secondly, Unity LA's "Pretty Wings" which made me actually feel something. A good case of purely dancing from the heart. Kupono was like 5 feet away from me when I was doing my hair. eeee!

Now the school madness begins!!!!! G'nite.

Stress overload and dreaming.

2010-01-29T02:34:00.001-08:00

Ups and downs today, but tis life. I took my graduation pictures today. What the! It's really happening! yikes! I remember in middle school, I'd daydream about what high school would be like. In high school, I would picture myself at different colleges, wondering where I'd end up. Now that I'm about to graduate college in a few months...uh...I could literally end up doing anything! Who knows where I may end up or what kind of job I may get. It's exciting.

I like what Pastor Miles says, "We don't know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future."

Instead of daydreaming about high school prom or colleges, I've been daydreaming of working for some sort of Art museum education program or being an advisor for an art school. I also would want to start off living in an apartment in PB. Can you believe it? Daydreaming of being fully independent from my familial and moving out. That will be a joyous day. But, I mean, even if that's not where I end up, it's God's plan for me anyway. These are tough times, so I will feel so blessed with any sort of job.

2 papers and 2 midterms next week. Vibe Sunday. o_O. Stressed overload and dreaming.

Bikes.

2010-01-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

Hm, maybe the rain has me excited for spring. My goal is to learn to ride a bike!

Photo 1: Tommy Ton's coverage Paris Fashion Week, 2: Catherine Baba, 3. Must I say? Classic.

Cloud Cloud

2010-01-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

Speaking of clouds. Check out MCASD's piece "Cloud Cloud San Diego." Can you tell I like clever and ironic things yet?

VIK MUNIZ

Cloud Cloud San Diego

2007

Vik Muniz made his first Cloud Cloud skywriting drawings in 2001. These consist of simple line drawings of a cloud, executed in the blue firmament by a skywriting plane. Pictograms more than drawings, they represent the idea of a cloud. But set up in the sky, the relationship between image, idea, and reality becomes jumbled. In 2007, MCASD commissioned Vik Muniz to createCloud Cloud San Diego.

"You should be walking on air."

2010-01-25T01:21:00.000-08:00

This weekend was the "Do Something" celebration at the Rock. The church celebrated the completion of 600,000+ service hours that went towards the mayor's service projects and various San Diego ministry. The church was beautiful, it looked like a bougie night lounge or something! Potato martinis (yum!), meat stations, cheese stations, (yum yum galore), couches, candles, catering! Swanky. In the sanctuary, we celebrated all the ministries, the Rock Heroes (volunteers who have gone above and beyond), and saw a Christian illusionist. I liked that he kept saying all his magic tricks are deception, and he showed us how easily our senses can be deceived just as we are deceived in life. He couldn't really read our minds. He couldn't really make a table float. We were being deceived. At the end, he talked about how JESUS is the truth, and Jesus can make real magic happen.

At the end, we looked at our cards on our seat. If we had a hole punch we could win a gift card downstairs! Either a flight, restaurant, hotel stays, etc. I saw I had a hole punch in mine! Whaaaat. My first thought was, "Uh. I don't deserve this." I went downstairs, and opened my envelope. It had a card inside with clouds on the cover. I told Jason, "Is this what I think it is?" It read "You should be walking on air." Inside was a $100 to Southwest! Wow. Where will I go?! I never really fly or travel! I immediately felt like God was trying to teach my something. Earlier, my social anxieties made me unsure about going, But man I don't know. And here God was showing me the fruits of going to him and letting go of what I feel like doing. I totally don't deserve winning this. I have a lot of growing to do, I need to be a lot more obedient, but God just showed me how much he loves me anyway. I felt convicted that God was saying, "I blessed you. Now what will you do?"

Show nuff.

Mr. Labbit

2010-01-21T13:26:00.000-08:00

Well hello Mr. Stache Labbit. Will you be my second place valentine?

Early Color

2010-01-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

Saul Leiter. A new favorite photographer from the 50's-60's. Romanticized city scenes with muted color palettes and faded texture. Sweet.

Rain

2010-01-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

Photo courtesy Vogue UK

Rainy Day Playlist

Tamia - Officially Missing You

Adele - Right As Rain

Corrine Bailey Rae - Another Rainy Day

Estelle - Let It Rain

Hair Bow

2010-01-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

PENNNNNY!!

2009-12-07T00:26:00.000-08:00

Blake Lively's dog, Penny, is so cute! I want a maltipoo one day *melts.

MJ Trends

2009-11-20T01:25:00.000-08:00

My favorite fashion trends...a la Michael Jackson

Strong shoulders...

Band Jackets...

SEQUINS!!

Oxfords

Gold Bodysuits

Yes, leather jackets and leggings

Magritte

2009-10-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

Surrealist art project due tomorrow. Wanting to do something Magritte-esque.

Into The Wild

2009-08-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

"The seas only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here, and I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone but nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."

"If we admit that life can be ruled by human reason, the possibility of life is destroyed."

"When you forgive, you love, and when you love, God's light shines on you."

A Way Out

2009-08-13T16:04:00.000-07:00

The JC's Girls Ministry at the Rock ministers to strippers and prostitutes that are looking for a way out of the industry. These women go to all the strip clubs in San Diego to build relationships with these girls, to love them, pray for them, share the love of Jesus, and offer a way out of the industry if they wanted. Our all female small group felt called to do our service project to help the JC's Girls Ministry. The Ministry leaders let us know that they were in need of gift bags. These bags, usually have "girl" items such as nail polish, lip gloss, etc. and are given to the women in these clubs as a gift, to show them that Christ loves them, and if they wanted a way out of the industry, The Rock church was committed to help them. So our small group made bags for the ministry, and we all wrote a personal letter for each one.

Today, I went to my friend Nathalie's office to pick up the last two bags before I would go deliver the bags to the ministry. She told me she hadn't finished writing her letter, and was feeling unsure about what to write. She asked me to stay in the office, as she prayed that the Holy Spirit would help her write - and she wrote her letter. Afterwards, she shared with me what she wrote. In the letter, she said something like, "I know this may sound cucu, but God pursues you. I just want you to know that God loves you, He sees your joy and your pain, and if you want to turn to Him or seek Him, He will be waiting for you with open arms."

Afterwards, I took the last bags from Nathalie's office and I went into my car in the parking garage after work. I sat in my drivers seat and placed the bags on my passenger seat. I started to drive... then something flew by my face. I swatted my hand towards it and missed. As I looked at my driver's window, I saw that there was a lady bug on my window, crawling on the glass, trying to get out. I thought to myself, "How did a lady bug get into my car that was parked deep down in a parking garage?" Nevertheless, I drove to where there was fresh air, I rolled my window down a little, and quietly watched as this lady bug slowly crawled up to the top rim of my window then flew out.

Immediately, my heart sank. I asked, "God, are you trying to show me something?" And I heard God say to me, "There are so many more that are looking for a way out." What the JC's Girls Ministry does, from the letters of encouragement that Nathalie and all of us girls wrote... there are so many that want to be freed. This ladybug, flew straight to my window, it knew that my car wasn't where it was meant to live, meant to be. So to, have we found ourselves in environments and difficult circumstances where we want to be freed from, we want a way out. Like Nathalie said in her letter, Jesus truly pursues us because he is the way out! Jesus loved us so much, that he died for our sins, so that we may be accepted, while he was condemned. So that our soul could be counted free, while Jesus died and took the penalty, took the pain of our sin, our burdens. God offers us salvation, freedom from the fear of going to hell, the assurance of heaven - as long as we repent, believe and trust in Jesus.

The dictionary defines ransom as "The release of property or a person in return for payment of a demanded price." Jesus is our ransom. We are released. We are free. We are given a way out, while Jesus died on the cross to pay the price. Can you believe how much our God loves us? What an encouragement and blessing it is, that we don't have to be trapped to our sin or our circumstances, but that God has given us a way out.

Like the Mike Clark Band said at the Women's retreat, "What a privilege and great responsibility it is for us to be called Christ like, to be called Christians." Lord I pray that for those of us who are Christians, we would take that name with seriousness, that we would live up to the responsibility that you gave us - that we would continue to love others, and let others know about your love and your salvation.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Mark 10:45

Make it 1000 Days of Summer!

2009-08-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?

Summer: You believe in that?

Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

The real question of 500 Days of Summer is not, 'What happens when you fall in love?' but 'What happens when you fall in love with someone who doesn't believe in love?' 500 Days of Summer is a Fox Searchlight film directed by newcomer Marc Webb, written by Scott Neustadter and Michael Weber (Pink Panther 2), and stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd Rock From The Sun/10 Things I Hate About You) as Tom and Zooey Deschanel (Elf) as Summer. The film tells the story of Tom, a charmingly witty, and at times awkward yet romantic, greeting card writer who gave up on his dreams of becoming an architect. Tom falls in love with Summer, the receptionist at his work who is free spirited, constantly on the move, and not looking for love or commitment. 500 Days of Summer recaps the progression of their relationship - examining the joys and troubles of falling in love with someone who only sees you as a friend, but treats you like you are much much more than that. 500 Days of Summer is successful in it's ability to tell an unconventional story about love because it lets the audience into all the charmingly unique and personal moments and memories that a "couple" can have all with humor and insight.

The successes of the film rely on the script and direction - the counter dial takes you back and forth on the different days of their 500 day relationship. This romantic comedy contrasts between the seeming perfection of the relationship's beginning, contrasted to the struggles of the "falling out" and rocky periods of a relationship. Hearing Tom talk to his friends about Summer, hearing his thoughts about her, and seeing their charming memories of their everyday activities and conversations makes Tom a character to root for and Tom and Summer's romance something to root for. As an audience member you begin to feel for Tom, and want for Summer to change her mind of her pessimistic ideas of love and come to her senses and be with him. The film is a mixture between "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind," "Amelie," and the Jim and Pam romance of "The Office."

So what does happen when you fall in love with someone who wants everything to be casual, yet you let them deep into your life, and they let you into theirs? Is there really such a thing as a successful relationship with no title and no strings attached? Between the moments where you see there is hope that they'll change their mind and fall in love, and moments where you see that they don't want anything more than "friendship." 500 Days of Summer will answer it beautifully and have you laughing, hurting, and rejoicing along with Tom.

Like the trailer promises, it's not a love story. It's even better!

Blank Canvas

2009-07-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

I feel like my head is full of ideas and thoughts and I just don't know how to express them!

blah blah blah.

2009-07-31T01:19:00.000-07:00

Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Matthew 12:33-37

zannnng.

Proverbs 31 Woman

2009-07-29T23:23:00.000-07:00

Last night, I started thinking about how I'm going to be sharing my testimony on Monday. In the middle of the night I was thinking about who I used to be and I started crying thinking about the mistakes I've made in the past. Thinking of how I sinned against God, even when I knew the Lord - I still bear a lot of guilt and shame about my past sin. It's not like I didn't know what Jesus did for me, and I still did these terrible things. How could I do that to God who loved me so much? It was so gut wrenchingly painful because I started having doubts about being forgiven, having doubts that I'm righteous in his sight.

At Women's Ministry we talked about the Ideal woman in Proverbs, how she gives God priority, she is a servant to her husband and children, giving to others, energetic, hard working, organized. All these things that God desires a woman to be.

"We don't need to read about the Proverbs 31 woman and beat ourselves up. Often we say to ourselves, 'I should be a lot farther along than I am right now.' Remember, we are becoming. Being a biblically beautiful woman is a process. The woman in Proverbs 31 also went through a process. Sometimes we see our life in photographs, in the small moments we can remember. God sees your life from beginning to end, and often, He gives you more credit than you give yourself. Take a minute to thank God for changing you. Remember back to who you were when you first met God, and who you are now. Isn't it miraculous? Remember what God has already done. Thank God for his power to change you."

-Paraphrased from Laurie Cole, Beauty by the Book

I felt like God really put me there tonight to hear that. I heard the reassurance that I really am forgiven, and that sanctification is a process. I have this idea that the moment I got saved, I should have been perfect. But this is life, and I'll never be perfect - but God is faithful and patient with me as he makes me holy.

Beach Dates with God

2009-07-28T20:37:00.001-07:00

Everyday so far this week, I've been going to the beach by myself to spend time alone with God, read my bible, and pray. It's been eye opening each time. Sometimes I feel anxious like I need need to be around people to feel comfortable, but I'm finding it's nice to go out and do things alone. I feel like when I go, I am slowly getting affirmed in whispers of the Holy Spirit that God is not mad at me, and I am slowly learning and experiencing rest in God's love and grace and am slowly getting rid of the anxiety I put on myself by always trying to prove myself to God. It's nice to be in the midst of God's creation, because it reminds me of God's goodness. Still, if God can take care of nature and he's faithful to bring the sun up and down everyday, he is faithful to take care of me too. Sometimes, I wish I got off work earlier so I can just spend the whole day there. Never seems long enough.

What I read today...

I re-read Matthew 11 and 12. In chapter 12, the Pharisees we're trying to outsmart Jesus (as usual), asking him why his disciples eat on the Sabbath. Jesus answers that even David ate bread in the temple, and in Matthew 12:6 Jesus says "I tell you, that one greater than the temple is here." Then a man with a shriveled hand was by the synagogue, and the Pharisees asked if it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath. Jesus answers:

"If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep? Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath." Then he said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. Matthew 12: 11-13

In the book my girl small group is reading, Everyone's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, it talks about how the Pharisees got so caught up in the "rules" of things, they forgot to be human and see the importance of having compassion for others. They forgot to have compassion for this man with a shriveled hand, forgot to have compassion for the woman caught in adultery. They were so eager and consumed with finding fault in Jesus, that they couldn't see the brokeness of others. And I like the imagery of Jesus' miracles, it always is an exchange of the person's faith - the man reaches out his hand, or a woman touches his cloak or someone verbally says they believe Jesus can heal them. Then Jesus rewards people's faith and heals. Jesus was so much bigger and larger than human regulation and law, he was someone who as David Cooper said last Sunday, "came to jack up culture!" People couldn't understand why Jesus hung out with sinners and tax collectors, they couldn't understand how Jesus could go around and forgive people of their sins. That's the beauty of it I think, sometimes as Christians we get hung up on all the rules of God, we forget how BIG Jesus is and how MUCH he wants what's best for us. Jesus didn't come for the righteous but the sinners! And on top of all that, he DOES want to heal you, but it requires your faith in him. And not only does God do this for us, but we can experience and be a part of God's healing in others.

Sketchbook Series Begins

2009-07-21T15:12:00.001-07:00

I'm mildly embarassed to share my artwork, but whateeeeveees! No one really reads my bloggy anyway!

In case you can't read my writing:

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 11:19

"Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Psalm 51:10-12

Uh, this is me replicating a piece from my fave artist Danny Roberts, you can find the original (his is way way way better) at igorandandre.blogspot.com His stuff is so inspiring.

This one is original! Yay! It's Eve with an apple errr fruit haha. If I remember, the Bible doesn't actually specify that it was an apple. I pictured her not exactly having a distinguishable ethnicity or anything, I mean most older European Art shows her as blonde and blue eyed, and sorta big haha.

I've always been really fascinated with the story of Eve. I think she get's a bad rep because she was the one who bit the fruit then gave it to Adam to eat, thus we all became sinners. But I guess I like her, because she was the last thing God created in the beginning, she's sort of the climax of creation. I always think, she was the first woman on earth so I'm sure God made her very beautiful. So then here's the first woman who was created in the image of God, from the rib of her husband Adam - and the devil lies to her, telling her the fruit will make her like God. She desired that, and ate it. Hmm, I guess I just empathize with her, because this woman who was created to show God's glory, messed up. And yeah, she faced the consequences - child labor would be full of pain for women, her desire would be for her husband but he would rule over her, plus humans would just be jacked up! But the thing is, God still kept them alive. When I was reading Genesis before drawing this, I read that after Adam and Eve we're shamed and covered themselves with leaves and twigs when they realized they were naked, it said that "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Genesis 3:21

I thought to myself, wow. Adam and Eve pretty much failed God, and disobeyed him, yet God still loved them and cared for them and He clothed them to protect them from their shame. Hmm, I guess I like that story because as a woman, there are times when I've fallen into desire and temptation in the past, even now too and felt the consequences of shame from it. Yet beyond the shame and the consequences, Jesus forgave me, loved me, clothed me and accepted me. <3

Emma Watson for Burberry

2009-07-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm Hermione Granger and I'm beautiful!!!

WHOA summer.

2009-07-06T23:46:00.001-07:00

I promised Jason I'd update this thang with all the super cool things I've done this summer.

6/14/09 Summer Event #2 IR/PS Commencement and Mike's Graduation Party

The night of Body Rock, slept at the Lim's place and woke up in the early early morning to go to work at the Commencement ceremony for the grad school I intern for - UCSD School of International Relations and Pacific Studies. Everything was really smooth running and went well, I guarded the parking lot spaces of all the big shot professors, speakers, and deans. I got paid to read in a chair by the parking lot. Cool. Also, lot's of free yummy food! It was our last hoo-rah of the year, so it was sad to say bye to my co workers Advait and Lauren who left. Also, cool to see people graduate.

After, I drove straight to the beautiful Dana Landing to meet Jason, where Mike's Graduation was. The food was zummy chicken, wild rice, veggies, and fruit tarts! I especially enjoyed his 5th grade teacher's speech about the teacher who went to outer space and died. Hah. Crazy

how he will be leaving to Mississippi to go be a pilot, ahh life after graduating. Interesting to see where we all end up.

6/15/09 Summer Event #3 Hospital =[

Spent the day with my cousin, I was so encouraged to hear her faith in the Lord even through illness and uncertainty. Got to read more of Matthew while waiting, and just all around had good talks and it was nice catching up with her.

6/16/09 Summer Event #4 Disneyland

pwnd.

Highlights: Having a nice talk with Jason on the drive up about God, Noy acting like a little filipino boy asking "Daddy" for tickets, Iya doing truth or dare and scratching her butt, Gale getting attacked by a chipmunk. HAHA CHIP AND GALE. Also, owning Jason and Buzz Light Year, and riding Space Mtn. twice!! Weeeee. Fireworks, etc.

6/17/09 Summer Event #5: Homeless Ministry

Our Bible Study went back to Balboa Park to give gift bag/kits to the homeless. Jason and I ran into Dwane, who we saw last time. Amazing to see answered prayers come to life. All the things we prayed with him before were answered. Praise God he got a part time job, a bike, and became reunited with his daughter. We met Maeesha his friend, and prayed with her and listened to her heart breaking story =[ Ended the night going downtown and giving out water bottles to those sleeping or sitting on the streets. This is in no way trying to bring glory to me or my friends or to say, oh look how good we are. No, we are jacked up people and sinners like everyone else, it's out of God's provision and love we feel compelled to do these sorts of things.

6/19/09 Summer Event #6: Padres vs. A's

Best $5 spent ever, plus 5 for $5! Hot dog, soda, cookie, popcorn, and peanuts! Whhaaaat! Not to mention getting to move off the park and down closer to watch the fire works =] It was fun, some of our friends ended up on the big screen.

6/20/09 Summer Event #7 Do Something! Balboa Park Clean Up

Picked up trash. Played games. Ate burgers. Look, pick, wait, trash, I, Tony, yayaya. It was fun picking up trash in Downtown, and also getting snazzy shirts! Afterwards I went to my cousin's graduation party with Jason, and thennnnn met up with everyone for game night and the Wed Knight House.

6/23/09 Summer Event #8 Del Mar Fair

I loved the fair. I ate: fried chicken, yummy grilled corn with butter and cayenne pepper, and Australian Battered Potatoes with ranch and cheese. Mmm, how I miss it. Rides: Crazy Mouse, The Big Slide, and The Ferris Wheel. I enjoyed the hypnotist show, the animals, and watching my friends try to win prizes at the games.

6/24/09 Summer Event #9 IMAX Robot Fighting and Jason's Bye Bye Dinner

Jason and I drove to Irvine with Jayci and her BF to see Transformers 2 in IMAX. The movie content was eh. But the IMAX experience was 2 thumbs up. Yay for 81 foot tall action scenes. And Megan Fox is so pretty. Hmph.

Then, boyfriend was going back home to Union City for the summer, so we had goodbye dinner at Phil's BBQ. YUM delicious BBQ, and the best onion rings ever.

6/25/09 - 6/28/09 Summer Event #10 Let's all follow Jason back home

Thursday Night - Went to Nathalie's house in the OC, ate yummy Sinigang and Beep Steak from Lola. Drove in the wee night in Brent's car talking about all sorts of deep and random things.

Friday - Jason and I went on a date in SF, took the bus that had a schizophrenic woman talking to herself and hitting the window, met up with friends and went to the museums, the bridge, and more random places. Went back and ate dinner with Jason's mom at Tony Roma's then played board games with Jason's cousins.

Saturday - Went to SF, ate delicious Peruvian food at Fresca, went to Carson? and saw lots of gay pride week stuff, went to Urban Outfitters and the mall in Union Square, went bar hopping but didn't drink hah. Settled at a lounge called...Cleft? I forget, played the G-rated "Never Have I Ever" and also one handed charades, and Tony bought everyone a drink! Ate late night crepes, then crashed at Tony's brother and wife's place - which I love because it's so artsy and how I would want my apartment.

Sunday - Woke up early and ate breakfast at Tartine Bakery? Walked to Cornerstone Church, listened to a sermon about the great invitation for us to be in relationship to rest and learn from the Lord from the leader of the organization "Jews for Jesus." We went to Jason's apartment and his mom cooked us food, we prayed with Jason and his mom then bounced! Said sad goodbye to Jason. Ate in LA at Nathalie's godmother's house, yum. Then arrived home to Jason-less life in SD haha.

Summer Event #1: Body Rock (6/13)

2009-06-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

Oh my. Haven't had time to blog, so busy already! Will slowly catch up on summer events as I have time.

[Precious right?! We look like we're in an AA or Gap ad haha. Gooo Lakers?]

This past weekend was caaarazy, it started with Body Rock. For those who don't know I dance on this hip hop team, Super Galactic Beat Manipulators and we had a show called "Body Rock" at my church called "The Rock" this past Saturday. Clever huhhhhh! I absolutely love my team and the people in it. I especially love it because my directors are strong men of God, and God is present and involved in the dance aspect of my life which is amazing. This particular show was sort of controversial in that many hip hop teams would be dancing in ways that go against what God teaches in a church. Let's face it, the hip hop community does portray a lot of things about arrogance, partying, and sex that go against what God stands for, which would not glorify God. Then on the other side of the argument, people say that everyone should be welcomed at a church, and that the event was meant to be evangelistic so that we could reach out to non-believers in the dance community. In all, it was one of those things where people have different ideas of what God would think of the event. While I completely understood both sides of the spectrum, and being baffled about what God would truly think of the event, I continuously prayed a couple days before to God that his will would just be done at the show - and even if it was controversial, that nothing impossible is beyond him and that he would still use it for his glory.

After witnessing the event I saw that God was working. One of my pastors, Danny spoke and I was literally shaking for him when he came up! It was a nervousness I had for the hearts of those who would hear what he had to say. He showed a dance video about a girl who lost her way from Jesus, but despite all her struggles and temptations came back to Jesus, who bore her burdens and her sin, and she was set free and made new! Danny then shared how God has also delivered him from things in his past and encouraged the audience to come check out the Rock if they we're interested in knowing more about who God is.

As for our performance, I am so proud of my team! The audience was so much fun, it's always so great to dance in front of your peers who understand the art of dance, and the cool moments and things in choreography. The audience was loud, and best of all participated and reacted to everything! All the teams did a great job, and I was really impressed with all the talent. I love my team soooo much! Thanks to JASON and all my friends and family, and those on Press Play that came out.

My prayer:

Father God, thank you so much for giving me and my team our talents to dance. Thank you God, that you gave us that gift, and entrusted us to share it with others. Thank you that we we're given the opportunity to dance at this event and share the joy you bring us in dance with others, so that they too might share in that joy. I pray that SOMEONE was touched that day, by being in that building, by looking at the cross in the lobby, by seeing the verses on the chairs, by seeing the pictures and things about the Rock's ministry on the walls, by hearing Danny, by interacting and talking with Christians at the event, by our team, by any means. Lord, for those who heard and became interested in knowing you more, I pray that you would give them the strength to seek you and I pray that the event pleased your heart. I pray that if someone took Danny's advice and showed up on Sunday, that you would continue to bless them and prepare and soften their hearts to the gospel. Thank you God for everything, for dance.

You have turned my mourning into dancing.

Psalm 30:11

What time is it?

2009-06-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

Still spring quarter...

Summer you are so close, yet so far...

Photo courtesy Urban Outfitters

Away We Go

2009-06-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

I've been totally eyeing this movie!

Focus Features is my favorite indie film company so anything by them has me sold. They've produced movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lost in Translation, Atonement and The Pianist to name a few. "Away We Go" seems right up my ally, a witty romantic comedy with quirkiness and depth and the lead couple having romantic moments in odd places. Seems almost like a more mature version of Juno. Plus I am a fan of John Krasinski in "The Office" and beyond just comedy, he's a really talented actor whose majored in acting and Brown and done all types of theater. I'm glad to see him in this sort of role. Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty is directing! It has good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Ok I'll stop. It basically fits all my criteria of the types of movies I like. =]

Let's go watch it!

ASK

2009-06-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2Chronicles 7:14

I only went for 6 hours instead of the 12 because I woke up late =[

Overall, I feel as though the Holy Spirit has been convicting me about using my time well. I have a problem with being late, and I know that it hurts other people. Praying for six hours allowed God to show me that I have more self discipline than I know and use. I really can take more time to pray and read my bible - I really can wake up earlier and be committed to work hard. It took a lot of work mentally, to focus my thoughts on God, but I really felt the Holy Spirit working. The whole day we prayed with the AWCIPA model:

A - Adore God

"Praise the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness." Psalm 150: 1-2

W - Wait on the Lord

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

C - Confess

Parable of the Lost Sheep - "I tell you in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner that repents then over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." Luke 15:7

I - Intercede for Others

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16

P - Petition for yourself

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you." John 15:7

A - Adore God

"O Lord, you are my God, I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

We did this model all day, first on our own then we went on to pray in this model along with certain ministries. We prayed in groups, heard testimonies, and worshiped.

Prayer Requests:

Prison Ministry - For the men and women in prisons, that they would come to know the love and forgiveness of the gospel. That God would help them be the men, women, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters he created them to be. For the children and families of those in prison - that they would be protected, safe, loved, and cared for.

Children's Ministry - For God to work in the volunteers, for the children that come to the ministry hurting and broken, for the strengthening of the parents spiritually.

Rock Academy - For God to provide resources to students who want to go there but cannot afford to. For the faculty to be God centered, and for increased enrollment.

UP

2009-05-31T02:33:00.000-07:00

Finally a funny, charming, chubby Asian boy in a Disney leading role!

UP is Disney's 10th installment of their PIXAR collaborated films. It tells the story of an old man, Carl Fredrickson (Edward Asner) who is stubborn, uncaring towards others, and holding on to things of the past. Wanting to reclaim his childhood dreams and sense of adventure, Carl decides to fly his house on helium balloons to South America. Much to his dismay, he is accidently joined by Russell (Jordan Nagai), an overzealous Asian American "Wilderness Adventurer" who is loud, clumsy, and childish. Needless to say, the two make an unlikely yet charming pair. When they reach South America they are joined by their bird companion, Kevin and a lovable talking dog, Dug. The team of Carl, Russell, Kevin, and Dug set off so that Carl can place his house at Paradise Falls - a dream he and his wife had as children. However, they run into Carl's childhood hero, Charles F. Muntz (Christopher Plummer) who has become an elderly vengeance filled villain wanting to kidnap the bird Kevin to restore his name as an archeology discoverer. Will they be able to reach Paradise Falls in time? Will the evil Charles F. Muntz catch Kevin?

This movie is uproariously hilarious with clever humor that appeals to adults, and the simple humor that appeals to kids. The movie theater burst into laughter several times, that I'm sure we all missed even more funny lines. The characters are all so well constructed and take on a personality and life of their own so effortlessly. Dug, is an ingenious character - sure there have been however many thousands of cartoon talking dogs, but he really talks and says things a dog would say. PIXAR knows how to make first class storytelling films. Everything just seemed out of an imaginative storybook you read as a child, and it just captivates you. The life lesson is great too - you're never too old for a new adventure, and letting go of the past helps you embrace the new. I also love the idea of having the two main characters being young and old - there's a beauty when those two generations are gapped and find common ground - both can learn from each other. Overall, I laughed, I cried, and felt like I was a little kid again, embarking on this imaginative adventure with them.

Go see it! If you love PIXAR's movies like Wall-E, Finding Nemo, or Monsters Inc. you'll surely love this one too!

JK8....Don't let the P people win!!!

2009-05-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

"You know if you can be friends and get along, whether you're married or not married, they can see that the relationship is important, and we can come together for them, that's good for them."

- Jon Gosselin

"Parents of multiples have like triple the divorce rate, and we were thinking we were going to beat that, but now I'm not so sure."

- Kate Gosselin

Interviewer - Was the party bitter sweet?

Kate - You know, it was. I was thinking this might be the last family picture we take together.

_________________________________________________

What a terribly terribly painful season premiere. They're children don't deserve all this.

God bless the Gosselin's for REAL, they are openly Christian and they're marriage and family are suffering the ramifications of fame and the paparazzi's rumors.

Bernstein Bears, Polar Bears, and MacGyBears in Big Bear!

2009-05-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats being in God's creation for a weekend with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Everything is so much more pure, stress free, and how God intended the things to be. We hiked up mountains, fished in lakes, worshiped, prayed, fellowshiped and devo'd in the woods...ahhhh for being slowly turned into a nature loving hippie.

And boo for school and civilization =[

And to leave you, Psalm 104 which the girls deemed as the camping verse:

PSALM 104

¹ Praise the LORD, my soul.
LORD my God, you are very great;
you are clothed with splendor and majesty.

² The LORD wraps himself in light as with a garment;
he stretches out the heavens like a tent

    ³ and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters.
       He makes the clouds his chariot
       and rides on the wings of the wind.

⁴ He makes winds his messengers, ^[a]
flames of fire his servants.

⁵ He set the earth on its foundations;
it can never be moved.

⁶ You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
the waters stood above the mountains.

⁷ But at your rebuke the waters fled,
at the sound of your thunder they took to flight;

    ⁸ they flowed over the mountains,
       they went down into the valleys,
       to the place you assigned for them.

⁹ You set a boundary they cannot cross;
never again will they cover the earth.

¹⁰ He makes springs pour water into the ravines;
it flows between the mountains.

¹¹ They give water to all the beasts of the field;
the wild donkeys quench their thirst.

¹² The birds of the sky nest by the waters;
they sing among the branches.

¹³ He waters the mountains from his upper chambers;
the land is satisfied by the fruit of his work.

    ¹⁴ He makes grass grow for the cattle,
       and plants for people to cultivate—
       bringing forth food from the earth:

    ¹⁵ wine that gladdens human hearts,
       oil to make their faces shine,
       and bread that sustains their hearts.

¹⁶ The trees of the LORD are well watered,
the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.

¹⁷ There the birds make their nests;
the stork has its home in the junipers.

¹⁸ The high mountains belong to the wild goats;
the crags are a refuge for the hyrax.

¹⁹ He made the moon to mark the seasons,
and the sun knows when to go down.

²⁰ You bring darkness, it becomes night,
and all the beasts of the forest prowl.

²¹ The lions roar for their prey
and seek their food from God.

²² The sun rises, and they steal away;
they return and lie down in their dens.

²³ Then people go out to their work,
to their labor until evening.

    ²⁴ How many are your works, LORD!
       In wisdom you made them all;
       the earth is full of your creatures.

    ²⁵ There is the sea, vast and spacious,
       teeming with creatures beyond number—
       living things both large and small.

²⁶ There the ships go to and fro,
and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.

²⁷ All creatures look to you
to give them their food at the proper time.

    ²⁸ When you give it to them,
       they gather it up;
       when you open your hand,
       they are satisfied with good things.

    ²⁹ When you hide your face,
       they are terrified;
       when you take away their breath,
       they die and return to the dust.

    ³⁰ When you send your Spirit,
       they are created,
       and you renew the face of the ground.

³¹ May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD rejoice in his works—

³² he who looks at the earth, and it trembles,
who touches the mountains, and they smoke.

³³ I will sing to the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

³⁴ May my meditation be pleasing to him,
as I rejoice in the LORD.

    ³⁵ But may sinners vanish from the earth
       and the wicked be no more.
       Praise the LORD, my soul.
       Praise the LORD. ^[b]

Sundoggy

2009-05-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

My Review of Sungod at UCSD

First off, I think that the wristband process was TERRIBLE. 25,000 students trying to get a wristband at about 10 booths. Some of us don't have 3 hours in the day to wait in a long line where people are constantly cutting each other. The line was literally a couple miles. I didn't enjoy the long endless entrance from ERC, and exiting from Marshall makes a far walk if you wanted to leave for a bit then go back. However, the festival itself made up for it and it was fun.

The tents were all great, I enjoyed the addition of the dance tent, where artists would just play upbeat and hype music so you could dance. I thought midway was a great way to be entertained between acts at the Main stage - Cirque and Kaba Modern were entertaining. There was a lot of good food choices, usual rock climbing and obstacle courses.

Merchandise: I liked the addition of Sungod shirts, and they we're all American Apparel. A lot of the shirts were worn at Sungod, and were very very reasonably priced for AA shirts and had nice designs.

As for artists:

Cool Kids - I am a big fan of their music, but found that seeing them live is ok. They are relatively big in the hip hop world, so it was kind of a bummer to see them so early in the lineup. They didn't have too big of an audience though, so I was able to get a good view right up in the front. They sound better on the original records, but just sort of sound like they're yelling and loudly speaking during their performance - just doesn't translate. However, their DJ was good and the crowd really enjoyed the infectiousness of the sound of their songs, not so much their performance.

Sara Bareilles - The big surprise of the night, I don't really know any of her songs besides "Love Song" and "Gravity." Sara was my favorite - she had amazing vocals and it was interesting to see someone pop perform since most of the artists are either hip-hop or rock. She was charming, funny, and sweet telling anecdotes about her time at the Grammys, acting on 30 Rock, etc. She has an undeniably talented voice and her band carried her songs out live very well. Highlights were her cover of Rhianna's "Umbrella"

and her encore performance of "Gravity."

Girl Talk- I don't know anything about them really - but the dance tent was packed during their performance. They DJ'd and played a lot of top 40 dancy hip hop and pop songs new and old which really gave the tent a lot of energy. To crowded and sweaty for me, so we didn't stay.

N.E.R.D. - Most people I talked to loved them, but I thought they we're just good. I really enjoyed the first half, the crowd was huge and it was obvious people we're freaking out over Pharrell since he's sort of this icon of fusing hip-hop and rock based on his style of music, skateboarding, and fashion lines. The first half, they performed the more recent songs on their album "Seeing Sounds" like "You Know What," "Anti Matter," and "Sooner or Later" I thought the arrangements were new and refreshing. In the second half, Pharrell encouraged mosh pits and crowd surfing. Uhhh...not fun haha, a lot of pushing and people getting hurt, makes the atmosphere stressful and the show therefore less enjoyable. Pharrell pulled a lot of people on stage now and then to dance which I thought was thoughtful and makes the show more fun and interactive. The second half was more of their older music and their high energy music. They're band is talented, but I wasn't too impressed with the singing/performance. The hype people did bring more energy, but it just looked like a bunch of people on stage, and you couldn't even keep a eye on the band. In all, it just seemed like they came and winged the show. Don't get me wrong, N.E.R.D. is very musically talented but that just wasn't obvious live unless you've heard their music beforehand.

I'm waiting for someone to outdo Lupe Fiasco at Fall Fest 08 for all these UCSD concerts. We'll see!

Videos to come.

Heartless Acoustic

2009-05-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

I don't even want him to win American Idol...

But I bought the video because it's that good!

Heartless - Kris Allen

little punk

2009-05-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

From Pastor Tommy's twitter haha...

"remember the part in Wizard of Oz where the little punk behind the curtian was exposed?? that's the devil. a little punk"1:13 PM May 11th from web

You can follow him here as he "tweets" about the lies of the devil.

Haha, I don't normally follow people on twitter, but he mentioned it in church, and I think his posts are helpful and cleverly funny.

Insomnia Devo

2009-05-13T02:21:00.000-07:00

My pal Melvin's outline for devos. I love it because it's like you're cleaning your soul with the Word haha. Scripture Observation Application Prayer.

Scripture

Listening and Doing

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Those who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at their faces in a mirror and, after looking at themselves, go away and immediately forget what they look like. But those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continue in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1: 19-27

Observation

So James is the author, who my bible says is most likely Jesus' brother. He was an important leader in Jerusalem, and Paul called him a "pillar" of the church. He is writing to the early Christian believers of the Jerusalem church. This book in the bible aims to encourage and instruct Christians during their difficulties. And as our bible study put it - he wrote about having practical and everyday faith.

Application

In all honesty, today was terrible - I got in a terrible fight with someone I care about. Shed tears, shouted, and the like. We both said awful awful things to each other, and I am frankly appalled that my heart is capable of such disdain, uncaring, and pride.

This scripture definitely applies to me and is a healthy "kick-in-the-butt" rebuke from God to be slow to get angry as James instructs. I do have a problem only hearing what I want to at times - I have a hard time listening to things that need to be corrected about my character. I get angry when people hurt me, rather than pouring out love like Jesus did to those who went against him. Anger doesn't align with God's definition of righteousness, and in James he talks a lot about restraining our tongue, because the things we say on impulse lead us into foolishness and sin.

James also talks about not just listening to the word - but LIVING it, and that those who live the word will be blessed. Like in my past entry, God wants me to give him every aspect of my life. My grace and patience are so small, but when I love with God's grace and patience - I can forgive and love and be humble more than I could ever try doing on my own. I didn't do a good job doing this today, but tomorrow is always a new opportunity to change that.

And if you are reading this, I'm so sorry.

Prayer

Father God,

Thank you that no matter what I've done against you - your love and mercy never run out. Thank you that you love me, and are never angry with me but instead are patient and graceful in disciplining me out of love. I am so deeply in love with you God, and I just want to confess as sin that today I set you aside when I got angry, I shouted and purposefully said hurtful things to one of your children. I see the ugliness of my heart when it's without you God, and for this I pray that you would forgive me for getting so angry. I pray that the Holy Spirit would speak through me throughout the day, especially during times of frustration. I pray for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that they too would be encouraged by you during their trials and hardships. I pray that you would set myself and others free from the bondage and pain that sin bring, and instead clean out our hearts so they could be emptied of our desires and instead filled with yours. Thank you God for your outpouring love and mercy, and for your son Jesus who set the example of who you call us to be.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Mmmmmm...Marchesa Dress

2009-05-12T02:57:00.000-07:00

On tonight's episode of Gossip Girl, Blair (played by Leighton Meester one of my favs) wore a prom dress that I think is personally AMAZING! I recognized it immediately from an old issue of VOGUE where the dress was modeled by another one of my favs, Penelope Cruz. Uh, I wish I could have worn it to prom!

A lot of GG viewers are hating on the dress on Blair's character. What do you think? Who wore it better?

Here's VOGUE's description of it: Marchesa ebony tulle ball dress with gold hand embroidered leaf applique.

Sounds so delicious.

LOVE

2009-05-08T01:47:00.000-07:00

God's Love and Ours

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sen his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother then he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God who he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4: 7-21

I feel as if America is driven by this definition of love - that it's complex. Movie after movie, display differing portrayals of what love could mean. We are taught this self seeking ideal of love... that finding "the one" completes a person and makes them whole. It's this idea that if you get hurt in the process of love you move on and try again until it works, all the while building your self character.

Yet God has already shared with us this simple and straightforward TRUE definition of love. How can a man and woman be together forever solely on their own effort? The husband is imperfect and will in some way, always let down his wife. While the wife is also imperfect and will always in some way let down her husband. Shouldn't there be a third party in between them? A third party which will give an unconditional and eternal love?

God can be that for you and for me. He is holy, perfect, sovereign, and all that is good - wouldn't you want to love someone like that first? Before you go try it with an imperfect person? I love this chapter in the bible. I know that the quote "God is love," is pretty famous and many say it - but it's something we shouldn't take so lightly but instead be grateful for.

We all know the love between a parent and their child, this can be seen in relationships between a father and his son as an example. The love that exists between the two is unlike any other kind of love - your child is who you are, and without knowing anything about them, parents love them deeply and unconditionally, and would do anything for them. Imagine that you had one son, and someone asked you if you would give up your son to die - for a bunch of people that did you wrong. Would you do that? Probably not. But the amazing thing is that God did that for you and me. That while you and I were sinners, and hurt God - he still loved us enough to give up his only son for you so that you wouldn't go to hell but instead spend eternity in heaven.

If you think that you don't deserve hell, or that you are a good person - this may be true according to man's standards. But God has set commandments that we've all broken - we've all lied, cheated, disobeyed our parents and had evil intent in our thoughts. And God sees all of it. You can't just say that God knows your heart, and he'll forgive you. God is a good judge, he will give justice just like punishments are given to those who commit a crime on this earth. God will give you and I what we deserve for breaking his commandments - and that's hell. So what do we do?

In Romans 10:9, it shows us: "That if you confess with your mouth that "Jesus is Lord," and that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

What an amazing gift, that Jesus who was sinless and perfect and GOD in the flesh, could take our punishment for us by dying on the cross so that we might spend eternity with Him in heaven. It's through Him that we are justified in front of God and saved. Give God your ENTIRE LIFE, His definition and the love and plans he has in store for you are better than anything you could dream up for yourself.

Dear God,

Thank you that you loved me first - that you are my first and one true love. Thank you God, that I'm not confused about what love is or isn't supposed to be, but that you set the example for us to love one another by being humble and sacrificing yourself for others.

God, I pray for those who don't know your love God. I pray that they would hear the message of the gospel, that they would be moved like I was by your love, and that they would repent and believe and trust in JESUS.

God, I pray that I wouldn't be fearful of you - your love is so perfect and full of grace it's hard for me to comprehend how you give love so undeserved: help drive away fear that I have so that I could be made perfect in your love.

I also pray for the relationship situation I am in now, I pray God that I would hold on tight to the love you have in store for me, and that anything else would come second. Holy Spirit, you know the troubles I am facing in my relationship right now. I pray that God's will would be done in that area - whatever it is. I pray I pray I pray your will be done in that area, whatever your plans are for me - that is what I want. I know that the uncertainty and the pain will all lead to something beautiful you have for me.

Thank you God, for your love. Thank you for dying on the cross to love us. Thank you that love isn't a secret, and you've shared it with us.

It's in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Movie of the Week

2009-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

Saw "Once," as recommended by Jason. It won an Academy Award for the Soundtrack,

and the movie is worth it just for the music. The movie does a great job of exploring thedepths of the process of creating music, and the romantic ties and friendships that

come along with it.

Oh, and Kris Allen from American Idol sang this song during Film music week!

Ms. CA

2009-04-27T02:52:00.001-07:00

The very beautiful Ms. California, Carrie Prejean, spoke at the Rock church today saying,

"Through all this, I learned not to seek man's approval, but to seek God's approval. God has a bigger crown than any man can give you."

The verse that spoke to her after the pageant:
"In fact, anyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted"
2 Timothy 3:12

Truly and encouragement to stand for Christ, no matter what venue of our life. This girl is dope, she's 21, beautiful, been going to the Rock church for the past 4 years, served in "JC's girls" ministry, reaching out to strippers about the love of Jesus Christ.

An amazing testimony.

Dear Holy Spirit

2009-04-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

Thank you for always loving me, thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for the people in my life you have provided who make me feel special and cared for, just as you care for me. Holy Spirit, I had a hard day today. I feel like some people may think I am arrogant when it comes to my dancing, and that I crave the spotlight. I also kept messing up today at our performance. I made mistakes during run-through and I made a mistake at the end of the routine and am still very discouraged about it. Even after the show with my friends, I am also feeling discouraged about being shy, about not being able to be outgoing even though I can be. This week Lord, I was even disappointed in myself about getting a B- on my midterm that I was so confident in. Lord, I pray you would release me from the pressure I put on myself, release me from condemning myself when I don't meet my own unfairly high expectations. Help me to be accepting that I am human and won't be able to be perfect. I pray that you would help me to not be over-analytical, or care too much of people's perceptions of me. Lord, if I am arrogant in dance - show me so I may correct it and me more humble like you. Lord I pray and pray and pray that you would send the Holy Spirit to help me with my discouragement, help me see Lord, that you believe in the good things in me, that you love me even when I mess up. Lord let me feel your grace. Lord, let all my worth come from you and nothing else. I love you so much Jesus, and it's in your precious name I pray. Amen.

My G-Rated 21st Birthday in Las Vegas

2009-04-13T21:46:00.001-07:00

This weekend was my 21st Birthday, and I spent it with my family, 2 of my cousins, and my boyfriend in Las Vegas. We did a lot of things except for drinking. We were able to see a lot of things and the trip ranks as one of my top birthday celebrations. Here are just some highlights.

Jason and I after watching the amazing "KA" the Cirque du Soleil show at the MGM Grand, where we all stayed stayed.

Jason and I drinking water at our first 21 and up nightclub...

Studio 54

Jason and I at the Belagio garden

My dinner at Mesa Grill:

New Mexican Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Bourbon-Ancho Chile Sauce and a Sweet Potato Tamale

Jason's dinner at Mesa Grill:

Sixteen Spice Crusted Chicken with Mango Garlic Sauce and Mango Salsa

Dessert: Profiteroles Corn Flake Crunch Vanilla Ice Cream with Warm Mexican Chocolate Sauce

2 Thumbs up for Bobby Flay's Restaurant!

My cousins, brother and I at the Fremont Lights Show

Vicky Christina Barcelona

2009-04-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

Mmm. Cleverly humorous dialogue, spanish, beautiful cast, exotic setting of Spain, quirky music, and art. Can't go wrong with that. Said to be Woody Allen's best film.

Here's one of the quotes I liked:

Vicky: Why doesn't your father publish his poetry?

Juan: Because... He hates the world.

Vicky: What makes him have such disdain for humanity?

Juan: Because, after thousands of years of civilization, they haven't learned to love.

Vicky: Wow.

Juan: That's his way of punishing them, not sharing his beautiful works.

PS. I am totally girl crushing on P. Cruz, she's so gorgeous and talented and sounds so good speaking Spanish

Not that I agree or am condoning with the notions of love represented in the movie of course =]

Life Updates

2009-02-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

I constantly have to remind myself that God loves me, and isn't disappointed or mad at me. *Sigh

In my sociology class I learned about the problems that second generation Filipinos face:

1. There's a contradiction when Filipino parents pressure their daughters to succeed academically and economically and then at the last minute, pressure them to stay with the family at a local college. Ex) Parents bribing daughters to stay with a new car.

2. Privacy of the family is emphasized. Talking to friends, a stranger, or counselor about family issues brings disgrace to the family, leaving filipino young adults to feel that they have no one to talk to.

Uh... Can someone say life story?

Education Studies class is breaking my heart - Having teachers who have not gone to college or don't have a teaching credential teach middle schoolers? The kids that need help the most get the least.

I cried during worship this past Sunday. I was overwhelmed with the lyrics of "Majesty" and all that Jesus did for me, one of the first times I felt God's presence during worship (Yay!)

Saw "The Reader." Soooo good. Me and my boyfriend argued for an hour trying to analyze the deeper meaning of the movie.

I'm super on fire to go do some ministry/evangelize! But to who to who!? I hope I'm not getting trapped into a Christian bubble.

I am continually blessed by small groups. Community is second, learning about God comes first.

My boots, dress and sweater from Urban Outfitters are coming! free shipping <3

SGBM - OOoOOOoo, san fran countdown.

I FINALLY GOT A HAIRCUT! The mane is tamed.

Last but not least...

Perfect Storm is coming up! Much to plan!

Feb 9 - Anniversary

Feb 11 - Jason's Birthday

Feb 14 - Valentines Day

Appleofmyeye

2009-01-28T01:04:00.000-08:00

Granny Smith Container

Oh Urban Outfitters, how I love you. You are so clever. How cute would this container be to pack in your lunch...

Mickey Rourke's comeback

2009-01-26T22:35:00.001-08:00

The Wrestler

The Wrestler explores a different side of life than the entertaining violence of the wrestling ring. The movie follows Randy "The Ram" whose real name is Robin, an aged professional wrestler who is forced into retirement after heart surgery and is entirely alone. What is interesting about him is that he is a character to root for, lovable, yet is disingenuous with his bleached hair, fake tan, and steroid pumped physique. He is estranged from his daughter, played by Rachel Evan Wood, who despises him for abandoning her, though he tries to repair their relationship. He is also interested in an older stripper, played by Marisa Tomei who insists that her life outside the strip club isn't all Randy's looking for in a woman.

What is interesting about the movie is the deeper content past its cliches of broken father-daughter relationships and unrequited love interests. The movie more importantly explores the gap between entertainers and their audience. Randy "The Ram" isn't really a hero, he's Robin who works at the meat deli on the weekdays. "Cassidy" the stripper isn't really in love with her customers, she's a single mother trying to move into an apartment in a new city. The movie shows the different worlds of the wrestling ring and real life, the strip club and real life. Though people may have pre-conceived notions when they hear someone is a "wrestler" or a "stripper," maybe they all deal with the same issues of getting older and being alone as anyone else. Except they cope by the superficial adoration from fans or customers.

This is Mickey Rourke's performance of a lifetime, what makes the movie special is the casting director's ingenious idea of casting Rourke to play Randy. For those who are unfamiliar with his past, Rourke was the all time quintessential bad boy of Hollywood, said to have ruined his career before it began. Rourke's story somewhat mirrors Randy's journey, but the victory is that Rourke pulled out all the stops for a genuine, heart-breaking performance in this movie.

The film is great in its contrast of simple and quiet scenes walking down sidewalks, shopping at thrift stores, and sitting in cars contrasted to the loudness and business of jeering fans in the wrestling arena to the pumping music in the strip club.

A fantastic movie, with an Oscar worthy performance by Rourke. You've got to see it for yourself. He's my pick for Best Actor!

The winning underdog movie

2009-01-26T21:39:00.000-08:00

Slumdog Millionaire:

You won't find any Hollywood starlets in this movie, and it won't be playing in every theater, yet Danny Boyle has undoubtedly done a fantastic job making this hidden gem of a movie. The movie is about a young boy who grows up in the slums of Mumbai, India and ends up being a contestant on the India game show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and is accused of cheating. As the story unfolds, you see his life story and how he knew the answers.

What makes this movie so special is the images. The visuals of India's poor areas to the richness of the Taj Mahal matched with a great soundtrack. The movie has great cinematography and is wonderfully edited into a perfectly sequenced assembling puzzle. As the movie progresses, each snippet of Jamal's life is a beautiful lasting memory that you will remember as well. Definitely a wonderful story of the poor being exalted but above all, a joyful love story.

Like all the commercials say, the film really will have you leave the theater feeling victorious and uplifted. While some may think it's elements are cliche, it's unique backdrop of India culture and life are what make this movie a winner. That's why it took Best Picture at the Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild Awards, and Critic's Choice Awards. In my opinion, I think that Slumdog Millionaire deserves to win the whole sha-bang of Best Picture at the Oscars, and how appropriate for the underdog movie to take the big prize!

God Conversations

2009-01-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

So the other day, God and I got to talking. I have always somewhat struggled with the idea that God would send me to heaven. When I sin, whether big or small, I think maybe I am just fooling myself, maybe God won't find me worthy to go to heaven.

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' The I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Matthew 7:21-29

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God - having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

At bible study, we talked about how when we read 2 Timothy, that it kind of instilled a fear because we all could fall into some of the descriptions Paul wrote. I think to myself, "Wow, it would be foolish of me to think that I am none of these descriptions, I kind of fit into some of these." Can we really say these descriptions only pertain to non-Christians or non-believers. At the very least as a Christian, we have at some point been ungrateful, unholy, jealous, or had selfish ambition. Who knows? Maybe the worry I had comes from my tendencies to be hard on myself or maybe it's my Catholic upbringing.

But God told me a few things:

For all have sinned and fallen short to the glory of God.

Romans 3:23

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion of his children,

so the LORD has compassion for those who fear him

Psalm 103:11-13

Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.

Acts 13:38

Finally, this is what God said to me personally:

Oh you of little faith. You spend so much time worrying about going to heaven, worrying for this person, for that person. Do not worry. Don't you trust that I send the right people to heaven? Do you not trust in the promise I have given in the Word? I sent my only Son to die on the cross for your sins. You have repented, and I have forgiven you. Don't you remember? You are Christian, yet I do not expect you to be perfect, even believers will sin. Ana, you know my truth, my love, my mercy that you have experienced. You know the things that are pleasing to me, and the sins that I hate. All I ask of you in this life, is that you do the very best you can to be obedient to my will for you.